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poop
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● lynxchan.service - LynxChan
Loaded: loaded (/etc/systemd/system/lynxchan.service; enabled; vendor preset: disabled)
Active: failed (Result: exit-code) since Mon 2017-03-27 15:53:19 EDT; 22min ago
Process: 1020 ExecStart=/usr/bin/lynxchan (code=exited, status=1/FAILURE)
Main PID: 1020 (code=exited, status=1/FAILURE)

Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain lynxchan[1020]: at Connection.<anonymous> (/home/node/LynxChan/src/be/node_modules/mongodb-core/lib/connection/pool.js:260:12)
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain lynxchan[1020]: at Connection.g (events.js:291:16)
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain lynxchan[1020]: at emitTwo (events.js:106:13)
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain lynxchan[1020]: at Connection.emit (events.js:191:7)
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain lynxchan[1020]: at Socket.<anonymous> (/home/node/LynxChan/src/be/node_modules/mongodb-core/lib/connection/connection.js:162:49)
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain lynxchan[1020]: at Socket.g (events.js:291:16)
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain lynxchan[1020]: at emitOne (events.js:96:13)
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain systemd[1]: lynxchan.service: main process exited, code=exited, status=1/FAILURE
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain systemd[1]: Unit lynxchan.service entered failed state.
Mar 27 15:53:19 localhost.localdomain systemd[1]: lynxchan.service failed.
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certbot
to get certs in the first place:

systemctl stop lynxchan
sudo certbot certonly --standalone --rsa-key-size 4096
systemctl start lynxchan

--standalone, because the other modules depend on the server software being apache or nginx, or the server being able to serve arbitrary files from the base directory, ie. mychan.org/right-here, which lynxchan won't do, at least not without using mongofiles, which certbot isn't programmed to deal with. So you might be able to do it with certbot certonly --manual, but then you can't use that for automatically renewing your certs.

4096-bit rsa key, because why not?

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Evidently, you can enter a web address in the file selection dialog, and it works, at least in Chrome on Windows 10.

My mind has been blown.